Its been a long time since I blogged..... Life has been a whirlwind... I last posted in September of 2015...On November 6th 2015, My mom passed away.... I had already split up with my Significant other.... He was mentally and emotionally abusive to me and physically abusive to the kids... I needed to admit that to myself that I could take care of them... but loosing Mom, I hit rock bottom... I also found out my "boyfriend" at the time and I use that term loosely was married.... My depression took over... I also wasn't a mom to my kids... I was horrible.... I probably should have admitted myself... Anyways... Kent and Sarah were also there but they did little to help... but regardless those were my babies and I was responsible for taking care of them.... I was responsible for making sure they ate, the house was clean, they had clean clothes, etc... I was their mom... I didn't do that... I let my depression from loosing Mom take over... On January 21st, 2016 Alyssa was caught huffing markers at group... They had to report it to DHS... this is not the first time or the second time we have been reported to DHS.. over the years apparently we have had about 15 reports... I know some of them had to do with Hope and Dallas staying with us... but they wouldn't listen to me about that... So they showed up on January 22nd, 2016 and took custody of my children.... I lost it... They said that I was neglecting Alyssa's mental health... Um excuse me but if Alyssa is attending counseling, has mental health appts, dr appts I think that I'm not neglecting her mental health just because I'm not putting her in the hospital... And why take my other children... I'm shattered... My heart is broken even worse then what it was... I can't stay at my house... its not a home without my kids... I still cry as I write this, just thinking about the hell I'm going threw... They put Jace and Austin in Allwe in one foster home, they put Joshua in another foster home, they put ChiAnne in yet another foster home and they admit Alyssa to the calm center (a place she has been before which has done nothing for her) then they moved her to another hospital place... she continued to act out... they finally got her into St. Anthony's in Oklahoma City where she spent till August.... She was then moved from there to the same foster home as ChiAnne... Just before school started she was then moved again to Owasso to another foster home and started school there... this foster home has been great for her thou... Joshua was moved to the shelter in Pawhuska and then moved to Norma and Billy's... which when he finally got up to Norma's he has finally adjusted and is doing fabulous... his gpa is a 3.69, the best he has had yet... he is smart as a whip, he just needed to apply himself.... Austin has been moved twice... the first he was acting out and needed to moved to be by himself... he was moved to a great placement... and this placement was great for him... he flourished in it... then the foster dad had some heart issues and needed to have surgery so he was moved due to no fault of his own.....Jace has also been moved twice... the foster home closed and so they had to move Jace immediately... Jace and Austin are now back together and they doing wonderful... ChiAnne actually came home for a bit... however I got the flu, bronchitis and ARDS and ended up in the hospital again on life support so she went back into foster care and is with Jace and Austin... We go to court on February 28th and hopefully Jace, Austin and ChiAnne come home....I've also completely separated from Kent... We've been done for over a year now... I'm with a wonderful man now... He has 4 kids of his own... 3 boys and a girl... so now our grand total is 10 kids... plus we have a 1 month old grandson... eekkk.... We will take things as they come... but for now... We are gonna continue fighting for my kids to get them home where they belong... So the kids are now 16, 12, 10, 7 and 6... hard to believe that I've got kids who are almost done with school... Alyssa is planning her prom.. "night in the city" she is a sophomore... she is also planning college... She wants to be an emergency room dr.. I can not believe she is planning college... My daughter is planning her future...how did that happen?? wasn't she just a baby in my arms??  she plans on going to OU which she has planned on going since she was in Kindergarten... So that's our update... I will try not to wait so long to update the next time...