I wonder why

I am feeling so overwhelmed........

In the last 6 mths.....Kent has had 3 surgeries, 1. to repair a hernia which he also developed cellulitis 2. tonsils~man he is a baby when it came to that, 3. corpal tunnel~now this surgery wasn't so bad.........And they were finishing up the surgery that they had started last year....He had the other wrist done last year........To top that all off, his meds are not working again and he is in a manic state......Very little sleep, the mood swings.........He needs inpatient.......However if I try to admit him, he will be admitted clear across the state from us..........If he admits himself, he will be 45 mins from home.......I am going to try to make a phone call tomorrow to his physc dr but I can't let Kent know.......But then again I feel as if I am hiding something from him and I feel it is wrong..........but I also know it is the best for our family.........

We had baby Jace 6 wks early, he spent 7 days on the vent and then came home when he was 23 days old..........Now he has severe reflux and colic.....Plus he will only sleep with us at night so now I don't sleep very well because I am so worried that someone will roll over on top of him........

Joshua and Austin both have to go visit the ENT to schedule to get their tonsils out........I was seriously considering doing them both on the same day, however I think I must have been insane to think that........

I am fighting with the drs about Alyssa, she is having some serious meltdowns.......Ok so it may just be spoiled.......but seriously there is something wrong and I don't think they have her diagnosed right.......

In feburary, my bff almost got killed by her ex-boyfriend........he pulled a gun on her and it went off......Luckily it didn't hit her but still........They shut down the town of Prue because of the man hunt.........Since then she has basically fallen off of her rocker..........She needs some serious mental help and refuses...........She told me the last time I seen her (I think it was the 10th) that she doesn't want to be a mom anymore..........She has 5 kids........ages 16 (lives with her mom) 11, 10, 7 and 4 (lives with her dad).........So the 11 yr old has been shipped off to his dad's, her 7 yr old has been shipped off to me and then to her bio dad's mother's..........and I have her 10 yr old.......Her 10 yr old is great but also has bipolar which is not medicated.......This child does not sleep.........her and Alyssa are constintly getting into it........They feed off of each other.......its bad.......but I am counting down the days until she can go home.........only problem is I can't get ahold of her mom so I am not sure if she is going home or not.......she won't answer my phone calls, she won't answer my texts.......What am I to do..........I took all the kids to the driller's stadium yesterday because our cell phone company was having a party there.........everything was free and we thought the kids would enjoy it......While we were there we ran into one of her dad's sister's........I didn't want her momma hearing it second hand that I had her out there and that she ran into them........

2 wks ago the horse was attacked by a dog........We had to have the vet out to the tune of a $135 plus buy bandages and wound spray and he is still not healed.....Plus this same dog was very agressive with my kids and bruised 2 of them........

To add to all of that, the last 2 days Kent's ex has come over.........No phone calls no nothing.........Granted I know she is bringing Bradlee over to see Kent but she could at least called and let us know she is on her way........make sure we don't have nothing we are doing.......Bradlee is not Kent's but Kent has been in Bradlee's life since he was 18mths old.....he is now 12 (I think).......Bradlee's dad died a couple of years ago so the only positive male figure in his life is Kent.....To top that all off, she is pg again......the baby will probably be here in sept.......

And I seriously wondered until this evening why I was feeling so overwhelmed here lately.......I mean I just had a baby is all...........It feels so much better now that I wrote it all out........Gotta run and feed the baby so I can head to bed.........