Searching

for what is missing in our lives.......Part of me just thinks that I am still dealing with PPD, those of you who know me well know how bad it can effect me............This time I think I was just to busy to deal with it........Jace spending 23 days in the NICU, having 3 kids at home, Kent's health problems, Alyssa's behavior problems......I didn't have time to really set and cry it out......I was to busy dealing with everyone else's problems.........But there really feels like there is something missing in my life.........I have no motivation to do much of anything, Jace is not sleeping through the night and laundry has doubled............I don't feel like cooking much anymore.......I think I just got to the point where I need to do something rather it is right or wrong...........My family is not being neglected but my house is........I think I am going to try something new..........Its called an accountability partner........I have asked a very dear friend of mine who is actually going through hell right now (love ya, she knows who she is) maybe it will help both of us.......I am also going to start a housework thread on bbc and see if I can get the lg family mommas to join in........I didn't realize I had lost motivation til just here recently..........I have got to do something to make my family happier, my home less cluttered and more baby friendly.......I can not believe my baby is 5 mths old now.......He is showing his own personality more and more everyday...........He will be moving soon, I need to get a baby gate for the hallway, I need to get busy on finishing cleaning out the kids' rooms..........but all one step at a time, one foot in front of the other..........Wish me luck on this endevour.......Oh and I really need to start sleeping in my bed again, I started sleeping on the couch cause Jace couldn't sleep in the bassinet and then when we went to texas, he slept so much better in his pack n play..........I have asked Kent for help to clean out our room so we can set the pack n play up in there..........I'm not ready for him to be out of my reach just yet.........Maybe by thanksgiving or christmas I will be but he is my baby.........No he is not my last........but for right this minute he is my baby........